• "M" is for Mrs. Emma

I am in love with Mrs. Emma, who is a bit of a You Tube star. Her family devised a winning formula to showcase their curvaceous, blonde beauty. Each video begins with Mrs. Emma's squeaky, yet husky, voice:

"Hal-loh."

Mrs. Emma is European, so there's a smidgen of an accent. Then her catchy theme song follows. "Da - da da dan - da da dan - da da da da dan da . . ." The videos are amateur, but this lady is more in tune than most of the Real Housewives.

If you don't believe me, check her out for yourself—she's so cute. Mrs. Emma can even swim! After a workout she usually takes a nap. What—you don't think Mrs. Emma is really singing? See for yourself. She's no Milli Vanilli.

And now, as this post closes, a smooth jazz riff carries us into the sunset. Auf wiedersehen, Mrs. Emma.