• Hamster Ball Derby

For a minute they were neck and furry neck, but in three out of five races Pinkie-the-Syrian-hamster bested my Maggie, winning first place in the 2011 Petco Hamster Ball Derby.

Maggie took second! I don't know if he (yes, Maggie is a boy) felt the thrill of victory, but I did: We won a big bag of Kaytee Hamster Food worth $9. I like a pet that pays its own way.

Who took third? Well . . . no one. A fellow with a gray-and-white rat wanted to race, but hadn't followed the Petco Training Tips and Schedule, which clearly states that ball work should have begun on February 28. In a ball for the first time, the rat promptly emptied her bladder in fear. Her owner bowed out.

Pinkie—with deliciously velvet, grayish-pink fur—won decisively. Maggie backpedaled a couple of times and, although he likes his ball, simply was not as fast. (Apropos of nothing, I would have had children if I were guaranteed they'd be as cute and sweet as Pinkie's owners, two little red-headed boys.)

Tonight I'll rip open the bag of treats and give Maggie extra corn, her favorite. And I imagine the two little red-headed boys will have put together Pinkie's new cage by the time she wakes up.

Victory is sweet—and crunchy.